By Necessity

I can't definitively believe in anything. Once I would have said I can't definitely believe in anything I can't witness (god, assorted scientific theories etc.) but after truly pondering what reality is, I realize that what I see is not necessarily anything at all. I disagree with the famous 'I think therefore I am' premise. The act of thinking is used to prove the act of existence. The reasoning being that I as an entity have to exist in order to be able to think about weather I exist. What if I don't exist, and neither do my thoughts? Or what if I do exist, but my thoughts don't? Supersensory experiences are considered 'hallucinations' or things outside of 'reality' but how can we define what reality is the real reality? What if hallucination breaks the mirage, and takes us back to reality? I don't necessarily believe this either, but since neither side has anyway to prove itself, it must be considered.

This dilemma is what forces me to put faith in experience. It is the only faith I can place that evokes both a spiritual, mental, and physical response, which is the only (but not necessarily the most effective) way to 'prove' that this 'reality' is real. When I DO things, experience things, it fuels a nameless drive. I define my existence by what I do. I prove my existence through response, both internal and external to the things I do. That's why I have to be doing something at all times. It reminds me that I still (naievly) believe that I am real.