Dancing with an Audience

There is a wonderful idiom we use, “dance like nobody is watching”, that is a cliché bit of life advice.  Still, most clichés only come about out of the basis of truth, and upon examination it would seem living uninhibited is a good course of action.  It takes more than a quote to fully understand the concept of uninhibited life however, it takes a moment.  You don’t take things people say to heart until proving them to yourself.  Upon recollection there wasn't a time I danced like nobody was watching, in fact, it was usually the opposite; I would dance in places where one feels like EVERYONE is watching.  I was always moving very consciously, with a sense of deliberation to my movements.  I later realized I lived my life that way, deliberately.  Even my quest to embrace spontaneity was a deliberate one, a terrible paradox which is silly to even propose as effective.  One night however, I danced without thinking; I existed in the moment for the sake of existing in it, not pursuing any sort of goal or agenda.

  It started with a conversation, a simple greeting to a stranger on their stoop that cold Saturday night.  Finding ourselves the last of our group outside the party, my friend Ben and I began to speak with the interesting characters that had spread themselves about the stairwell of the apartment complex.   They were an eclectic bunch, in the best sort of way, psychedelic rock music blasted out of their room, an awesome break to the monotony of party music that usually bombarded the sound space of Isla Vista on a weekend. 

The first person I spoke with was a bearded man whose name has slipped my mind, and what was most striking to me was the way in which he listened.  While we spoke, he focused his eyes very intently at the ground, periodically nodding and waiting until you were fully finished with your side of the conversation before engaging in his own.  I had the feeling he truly processed every word I said that night, and I wish I could say the same on my part, (this is now a mental note to become a better listener…).  He spoke with a soft voice, in an intellectual manner, yet not the sort of intellectualism one associates with pretentiousness.   It was more so with an air of curiosity and excellent diction.  His friends were equally interesting, a girl with black hair whose passion for life seemed to make everything that happened far too overwhelming, and her reactions followed suit; they were intense, full of life.  There was a tall stern faced man as well, who spent most of the time with his girlfriend, he didn't say a word other than his name, but his mannerisms were exceedingly inviting and friendly.  Lastly there was Alex who, “looks like Jesus!” according to an unbiased third party (a drunk girl).

  

After standing in the cold, talking about nothing and everything at the same time, we decided to move into their upstairs apartment.  Upon entering, the music that was pleasantly emanating outside turned into a blaring noise, previously blocked by the actual structure inside.  A computer lay on the floor of the bathroom, connected to speakers in the other room.  On the floor lay boxes filled with thousands upon thousands of burnt CD’s, more music than I could have even fathomed.  Ben and I spent the next ten minutes or so mingling with the group, and despite being the only outsiders to this click of friends, we felt quite in place.  We talked about drugs, life, and just appreciated existence together.  After some time, I went up to Alex and outright told him that his music collection was “the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.”  To which he responded by hugging me, and screaming to the room “It’s my birthday and I want all you fuckers to come dance with me!” And we did.  

It was a scene straight out of the 1960’s (and as a matter of fact, a good number of them did happen to be on acid).  Here was whole gang of us who, for that moment, in that place, stopped chasing anything, grades, love, money, fame, and we danced.  And for the first time I truly felt like nobody was watching. So remember, "I WANT ALL YOU FUCKERS TO COME DANCE WITH ME" and if everyone is busy living, nobody is busy watching.  So get busy living, and forget about who is busy watching.

Dance with your audience, not for them.

To Infinity, and Then What?

"To infinity...and beyond!" - Buzz Lightyear

As a kid, I was told 'the universe is infinite' and for all intents and purposes it was the easiest way to describe the enormous stretch of space that we inhabit to a child.  In actuality, the universe is growing! An equally awesome concept, but seemingly contradictory to my previous understanding that the universe was infinite.  How can that which is infinite, also grow?

What is infinity? My preliminary attempts to rationalize it numerically seemed futile.  The idea that our number scale being infinite made sense.  The number scale could not end because you can perpetually add to it.  In other words, if you had the space, one could make tally marks on a surface forever.  There would not be a point where you had made 'infinite' tally's.  So infinity can't be a number, or even a numerical idea, it must be above these concepts, it must INCLUDE them.

Infinity has to be everything there is, and even everything there could be.  On top of that, infinity has to be everything there isn't, and everything there couldn't be.

Scientific notation negated the 'naming' of numbers.  Someone somewhere got tired of coming up with ones, tens, thousands, millions, billions, trillions etc.  and rightfully so! We would run out of words to use eventually, our diverse vocal capabilities are even more finite than the number system we use.  Numbers would have to have terms associated with them that we already use to represent other things in our world.  Can you imagine a series of numbers (think trillions) named after you? Or how about a series named 'cat' or even a sequence of numbers called 'number'.

The issue that presented for me was that how can we define infinity without being able to even come close to reaching it?  It can't be observed, or even fathomed.  There are no mathematical formulas that can discern it or illustrate it.  So then there are only two options left (if you can present a third, I would be open to hearing it!)

Infinity doesn't exist
OR
Infinity is the only thing that exists, and we are all just a part of it.